This past week has been hard. There is no other possible way to describe it. It was hard. It is hard. It will be hard for a while. Losing former students is hard. If it is this hard for me, I cannot imagine the pain and anguish of these families. Unfortunately, this is not my first losing a former student, but this is the first time that those students sat in a desk in my classroom just a few short years ago.
Every day things continue much like they did in the days before these lives were cut short except in those quiet moments. The minute in the hall when all of the students are in their classrooms and my mind drifts there just long enough for tears to well up in my eyes before I push it all back down and walk into my classroom with 20 fresh new students. The quiet time in the car between leaving work and picking up kids. Those 4 minutes between work and daycare are just enough time for my mind to drift and my heart to ache. The time after everyone else is in bed, the TV is off, and I am just alone with my thoughts. That's when the tears fall. My heart is broken for these kids and their families.
My heart hurts to think of the world without these wonderful souls.
I think about how much Brooklyn made me laugh. I think of her smile. I think of her sass any time someone tried to call her Brooke. I think of the life that was ahead of such a wonderful young lady and it hurts. So much. I am so sad for her family and for the pain that they feel. I am also so grateful for their decision to donate her organs in the face of such a terrible loss. I have friends who are alive and healthy because they were the recipients of an organ donation. It truly is the gift of life. Her spirit will live on through the people that were saved by her organs.
I think about Izzy. I think about her wild hair and how it fit her personality to a T. I think about her grin-it wasn't a smile-it was a grin, and it made you want to smile. I think of her love for animals. I think of her fresh and unique perspectives in class discussions. I think about her senior project and her choice to study happiness. She researched about happiness. She wanted to know more about what makes people happy, and I highly suspect that she did it to infuse more happiness into the world. Take good care of your animals, give them a good snuggle, it's what Izzy would want you to do.
I think about this, I think about all of this and I try to think about Morrie (Tuesdays with Morrie) and his perspective on death. No one knows how much time they will have on this earth so please make the most of every moment. Don't live life with regrets, spend time with people not with things. Right now the number one quote that comes to mind is: "Death ends a life, not a relationship."
To the families of the kind souls gone too soon, I pray for you every day. I pray for peace in your heart and I pray for strength for you to make it through life without one that you loved so dearly. Your loss is immeasurable. They were so loved and cherished. They will never be forgotten.
Finally, to anyone reading this: drive carefully, keep your phone out of your hand, and buckle your seat belt because someone cares about you, and they will miss you terribly if you are gone.
