Saturday, July 30, 2011

Run for your freakin' life!

This morning greatly tempted me to stay in bed! I shut off my alarm and felt awake but lazy.  My bed was so snug and warm...who in their right mind would leave that?  Well, we all know that I am not in my right mind so I got up after giving myself an extra ten minutes as a treat.
It was humid this morning making it harder for me to believe that I actually left my bed for this but I did feel good knowing that I was going to hit the trail on a Saturday again.  As I rode and watched the fog in the grass starting to lift I thought about what else I can do to challenge myself.  After all, I am doing a decent job with goal number what?  Logically, goal number two seemed like the next step.  As I rode I thought about how I could start running and then I thought about the nice little loop that I take on my bike every morning.  It seemed logical-ride to the park, run the loop, ride home-easy.
The more I thought about running the more I wanted an excuse not to run.  By the time the park was in sight I couldn't think of any reason not to try a short run...what do I have to lose?  Then, as I entered the park and saw the sprinklers on I thought-EXCUSE-I shouldn't try this running thing in the sprinklers.  Further into the park-EXCUSE-city workers were there cleaning.  Did I really need to subject some poor stranger to my pathetic attempt at running?  I made up my mind-no run this morning. 
I continued my usual ride around the loop thinking about how big it actually was and wondering how I could ever run all the way around.  Then I started to think about how pathetic is was that I wanted an excuse not to run and how pathetic it was that I didn't want to look like an idiot in front of strangers.  I stopped my bike at the end of the loop-at the point where my ride heads toward home.  I stood there for a while looking at this loop that I wanted to run around.  While trying to decide what to do, I gave more witnesses the opportunity to show up as two people came to the park to walk their dog.  I used my phone to check-in to Riverside Park on Gowalla (awesome app by the way) trying harder to convince myself that this was a really terrible idea now that there were more people to witness it. 
Finally, I stepped off my bike, removed my helmet, and took off.  I am not really sure if I was actually running...maybe it was more of a jog...but I was doing it.  After the first 20 feet I was done-ready to stop.  This was not fun or enjoyable at all!  What the hell was I thinking?  As my body screamed at me to stop, trying to figure out what it did to torture me so, those witnesses that I thought were a good excuse not to run became a decent excuse to keep running.
Running thoughts:
"Ugh this sucks."
"How the heck does anyone enjoy this?"
"This feels really awkward."
"I bet I look incredibly stupid."
"Who cares how I look, I am running after all."
"I think I need someone to teach me how to run because this just doesn't feel right!"
"I bet there is Running for Dummies."
"OMG my lungs are going to explode."
"AHHHHH I am not even half way yet."
"Why do the freakin' sprinklers have to be on?"
"This is pathetic...I am not even going to make it half way."
"Just shut up and run!"
Finally my lungs told me to stop (I must have pathetic lung capacity) or rather they screamed at me that if I didn't stop they were going to drop my a** on the pavement.  I ran just over half way before slowing to a walk.  All I could think was-how is this ever going to be enjoyable? And yet, I did it-I ran.  It was pathetic and sad and it felt like time was standing still and I wanted to never do it again but I still did it. I didn't run all the way around the loop but I ran over half way after wanting to stop right away at the beginning. Hey, that's progress!  I take what I can get.  Although this may take some serious recovery time, so don't expect another running post for a while...

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